Grieve

When in grief, grieve with the grieving. -VC

Already grieving is so hard, it’s easier to do it together.

The burial was at 10am this morning, later today after Mahgrib there will be a talil for her at the campus surau, Yasin prayers will be said and sholat ghaib will be done.

All seem normal the night before, she text-ed one of her closest friends about settling her visa. The next morning she was hospitalize, she was suppose to get her dialysis but her body couldn’t take it later that day.

Almost dying changes nothing.
Dying changes everything. - House MD

Arriving at the exam hall today everything seem the usual. After that, the hall turned sombre and solemn, her housemates fell apart, one after the other wept silent tears.
Heart-wrenching…
In situations like this handing a kleenex, exchanging condolences and saying prayers are the only all that can be done, but it feels like more needs to be done… but is there anything else?

When words are not enough you give hugs, when hugs are not enough, you give?

The mourning shall pass…

(… for she is in a better place)

 

p/s: this is good read on passing on on ‘How to cope with death’, ::

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilahi Raaji’oon

 

 

Passing of a Friend

Four years…
During Pre-University Padjadjaran until now, today 5 somthing pm

It will be mean if i said i foresee it,
It will be insensitive for me to break hopes,
At the end, i really hope that your passing was an easy one without pain that you have to endure.

Do you know it is hard to for the news to sink in, when it did, it is just overwhelming. How do the dear ones pick up and continue living, when death just came knocking on the next door. All of sudden, the time around you seem to seize though the clock continues ticking, the flood of memories that you have comes in gradually. Trying to sit down and collect yourself and study is hard, the mind keeps floating elsewhere back when life was still breathe into you.

Chronologically passage of time:
Pre-U, the fun trips, the gatherings, the struggles just to get into medic school, the disappointments of not getting into UnPad, the plan-B of sitting for Brawijaya, the entrance exam and the Green Ticket.

The adaptation, staying under a roof with the same Ibu Asuh, the ragging session, learning to sing the PKPMI songs and the miscellaneous Raya songs, enduring the seniors crazy tantrums, bitching about them later,adaptation field trip, the many crazy performances for seniors and PKPMI, my eye patch and your eye infection, learning to kawat with you, Paparons (our first) with you, hadi and faizah; walking insanely from Soehart to practically everywhere!; getting through the rough times during adaptation and OSPEK, the mutual friend we made in matos, the photostickers that is still in my purse, the small talk we had that stays in my head.

The last time i met you was back in July, when we were in UNISMA Hospital visiting the sick ones that had dengue. The last thing you offered us was the Amanda Brownies that you bought. Dear god, that was the last memory i had of her.

You’re quiet, never boisterous but full of life when getting to know you.

It’s so sad that at such a young age you have to go, I wish we knew earlier, i wish you had done a check up 4 years ago.
Anemia can be a hereditary in the family, i hope people won’t take the matter lightly and go for a check up, just to make sure in the long run their health is tip-top. So that it won’t be too sudden to find out 4 years later that you have end stage bilateral kidney damage, and the only option you left with is dialysis or kidney transplant.

Be an organ donor, it saves life.

Last but not least, you still had so much of hope and relentless passion in continuing your studies in Semester 7 with us, even though you knew the prognosis. You were planning to return. And I bet you still remember that both you, me and Yam are suppose to do our hospital attachment

You were planning on returning…

I will miss you Laila Mastura.

:: May Peace be with You and Allah (swt) at you side always ::

Rat hole

OooMmpa LoOmPa DooKpedeYDook… i got another news for you…

OooMmpa LoOmPa DippedeeDee… there was an earthquake in Java!

Well this time it was in Jogja and some places in Malang felt the tremor!! This is the 2nd one for this month, first one happened last week in Jakarta that the hit Bandung, Surabaya and Bali as well. So, looks like it the tremor is moving from the West of Java- Central Java… I’ve got a feeling it will be heading for East Java soon. Oh dear…

I hope there are not many casualties in Jogja, apparently it was a 6.8 Ritcher scale! Sigh…

Senior doctors does have their flair in bombarding their students in every single way, especially towards students from the neighbouring country! That was just appetizers, i wonder what is for main course? And i’m throwing a white towel to even find out what’s for dessert!
Now i know my previous whines on my encounter with this senior doctor at internal med lab that raised his voice and said : “I Don’t CARE!”, was actually introductory of what worst fate could be install in the not so far future.

Thesis is giving an eyesore! Such a pain in the shins… going half way down the track, pointless calling quits. As if i can. Would never happen.

Need to get to printing notes and more importantly halfway down thesis!!

It took me so long to figure out that fathur would make a great guy to bring to Look-out-point! A place i’ve been meaning to go since last year but i could not figure out where it was and i didn’t attempt since it was a slopy road. One for the view, two for the camera, three for night outing with the family. If the idea sells!

Hot and Cold

“You’re Hot then You’re Cold,
You’re Yes then You’re No
You’re In then You’re Out
You’re Up then You’re Down”

When there is a fever there is an infection.

Last year around this time of year Malang was warmer then usual…. One would have though it was global warming that is acting up. This year this time around, Malang has been unbearbly cold! Brrr…. water is too IcY cold to be bath in. My limbs are forever chill and i long to be under the sun. I need to move to somewhere warmer later… Brrr…

Respiratory infection + cold dessert = fever, forget to add the chances of acquring extra viral or bacterias at the ICU of RSSA, since the immune system was already a little down.

Curling up like a ball, wrap up in thick comforter and sleep through til the new semester starts will be the best

The Stalker like personality

STALKER:

I know you but you don’t know me
I want to be your friend
I have been watching you from afar
I try to acquire as much information on you
Friendster, Facebook, Myspace are my much trust resources
I guess we do have common friends

I’m very sociable
First thing i did when i had your number was to play miss calls
Just to get your attention
My thoughts got more obsessive when i didn’t receive a feedback
At wee hours of the night my miss calls started
I’ll not give up.

Perhaps I should just send you text
” Hello object, i’m xxxx i want to be your friend”
Oh, yes i got a reply!
Round one goes to me!!
This should be getting easier now
Since you know my existence.

Stalkers are freaky people who most definitely are cowardly people that takes them a long time to muster their courage to confront their prey. While trying to muster their courage they will try to establish friendship with their prey to make things easier. They are smart because resourceful in finding out who you are, your name, which university you go to, and obtaining your cellphone number. They are persistent to a fault turn into obsession- they won’t take no for an answer until you say something unpleasant that jolts their senses back into reality.

Take precaution when someone knows you by your name and cellphone but does not introduce themselves first. Better still block them off from your call list, never entertain this kind of people. At first you may think it is somewhat flattering that someone wants to get to know you and took so much of initiative to find out who you are. However think twice, the manner of approach and speech of a person can determine whether that person is a friendly stalker, a psycho one or a freaky one.

It is saner and safer if your stalker does introduce him/herself first when approaching you. Be smart go find out how that stalker got to know you and where they got your number, because there’s definitely a mutual friend you both share and know of.

However, if you are a Histrionic person that love it that your social website is being populated with people who

go ahead and flatter your self.

You my as well set up an application form:

A stalker is someone who knows you by your name and has your phone number, gives you midnight miss calls despite doing that too during the day time and sends you numerous text everyday.