IT & 4 Wives

Posted on September 24, 2007

0


Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend
5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower,
gifts and jewellery applications that
had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed
many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as Formula
One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup
2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer
runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears
6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run
the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late
Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program
that will create
SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-
in-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another
Boyfriend program. These are not
supported applications and will
crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have a
limited
memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider additional software
to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend
Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat
Ali
6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

Once upon a time there was a King who
had four wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and
adorned her with rich robes and
treated her to the finest of
delicacies. He gave her nothing but
the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much
and was always showing her off to
neighboring kingdoms. However, he
feared that one day she would leave
him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was
his confidant and was always kind,
considerate and patient with him.
Whenever the King faced a problem, he
could confide in her, and she would
help him get through the difficult
times.

The King’s 1st wife was a very loyal
partner and had made great
contributions in maintaining his
wealth and kingdom. However, he did
not love the first wife. Although she
loved him deeply, he hardly took
notice of her!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew
his time was short. He thought of his
luxurious life and wondered, I now
have four wives with me, but when I
die, I’ll be all alone.

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, ‘I loved
you the most, endowed you with the
finest clothing and showered great
care over you. Now that I’m dying,
will you follow me and keep me
company?’

‘No way!’, replied the 4th wife, and
she walked away without another word.
Her answer cut like a sharp knife
right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd
wife, ‘I loved you all my life. Now
that I’m dying, will you follow me and
keep me company?’

‘No!’ replied the 3rd wife. ‘Life is
too good! When you die, I’m going to
remarry!’ His heart sank and turned
cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, ‘I have
always turned to you for help and
you’ve always been there for me. When
I die, will you follow me and keep me
company?’

‘I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this
time!’, replied the 2nd wife. ‘At the
very most, I can only walk with you to
your grave.’ Her answer struck him
like a bolt of lightning, and the King
was devastated.

Then a voice called out: ‘I’ll go with
you. I’ll follow you no matter where
you go. ‘ The King looked up, and
there was his first wife. She was very
skinny as she suffered from
malnutrition and neglect. Greatly
grieved, the King said, ‘I should have
taken much better care of you when I
had the chance!’

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in
our lives:

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter
how much time and effort we lavish in
making it look good, it will leave us
when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions,
status and wealth. When we die, it
will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and
friends. No matter how much they have
been there for us, the furthest they
can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often
neglected in pursuit of wealth, power
and pleasures of the world. However,
our Soul is the only thing that will
follow us wherever we go.

Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it
now, for it is the only part of us
that will follow us to the throne of
God and continue with us throughout
Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when
the world pushes you to your knees,
you’re in the perfect position to pray.

Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s
perfect. It means you’ve decided to
see beyond the imperfections.

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