a lil climb, a lil fall; pick yourself up and crawl

Posted on November 11, 2007

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Yes, it’s been a long time since i blog. I think I’ve lost the interest to collect my thoughts and put it out in words. One main reason I’ll blame the internet for being so laggy.

Things have been going up and down a little. What I’ve tried to burry deep is rising to the surface- I don’t mean dark secrets. I’m struggling with my natural self to suppress my bad temper and lashing tongue. It’s so hard to balance it out to be nice and to delegate job out. Yes, I won’t be the most likable person at the end of the day but I get the job done. If the job gets done well I’ll be most happy! But I want it all. I’ve always want it all for everything in every aspect. Even if it is itsy bitsy teeny weeny all!

I’m greedy, unrealistic, have too much high hopes. The higher I aim, the harder I fall! Hence I’m passive in whatever I do, to cushion my fall. In the end, I have gain nothing but the comfort of my security and less emotional disappointment and frustrations. How ambitious!

Have to get in my head that it is part and parcel of success, disappointment but not failure. Definitely not failure. I do not acknowledge such thing.

I got to thank mom, for the reassurances she gave. Yes, I know we should make do with whatever we have and make the best out of it. However, if you habour so much of hope for it to succeed and putting your all but ended up with just a quarter of harvest, it is really a heartache! I don’t or rarely invest my time into something that I know will not yield full results! Wasted effort and time. Perhaps that is why sometimes I do better in a one man job. I don’t have to please everyone and I get to do things my way. I’ll be singing the song, “I did it My Way”!

I’m thankful to have a friend who is giving me opinions and listening to my rants, helps me a lot to self reflect.

Yes, it’s been a long time since i blog. I think I’ve lost the interest to collect my thoughts and put it out in words. One main reason I’ll blame the internet for being so laggy.

Things have been going up and down a little. What I’ve tried to burry deep is rising to the surface- I don’t mean dark secrets. I’m struggling with my natural self to suppress my bad temper and lashing tongue. It’s so hard to balance it out to be nice and to delegate job out. Yes, I won’t be the most likable person at the end of the day but I get the job done. If the job gets done well I’ll be most happy! But I want it all. I’ve always want it all for everything in every aspect. Even if it is itsy bitsy teeny weeny all!

I’m greedy, unrealistic, have too much high hopes. The higher I aim, the harder I fall! Hence I’m passive in whatever I do, to cushion my fall. In the end, I have gain nothing but the comfort of my security and less emotional disappointment and frustrations. How ambitious!

Have to get in my head that it is part and parcel of success, disappointment but not failure. Definitely not failure. I do not acknowledge such thing.

I got to thank mom, for the reassurances she gave. Yes, I know we should make do with whatever we have and make the best out of it. However, if you habour so much of hope for it to succeed and putting your all but ended up with just a quarter of harvest, it is really a heartache! I don’t or rarely invest my time into something that I know will not yield full results! Wasted effort and time. Perhaps that is why sometimes I do better in a one man job. I don’t have to please everyone and I get to do things my way. I’ll be singing the song, “I did it My Way”!

I’m thankful to have a friend who is giving me opinions and listening to my rants, helps me a lot to self reflect.

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