Posted on May 4, 2008


Everyone has issues in life. Some people hide it very well from everyone, some don’t. I blurt to people i want to just so i can have space to emo and think. Not very healthy but that’s how i cope. I guess the people who doesn’t have stay recluse when having issues have their families to talk to. No offense oldies, i happen to don’t like to talk about issues so  much because i don’t want them to worry and the more i don’t think about it, the easier i get detached from it.

My issues are usually intrinsically complicated that have to do with me needing self growth and improvement that is not a usual conversation that i will have on the phone or msn. So the least i can do is type it all out just to let you know i’m having issues but i will cope with it. Although i’m legally 21, i feel like my actual teenage problems have started. i’m a very slow baby i was told, so i shouldn’t be surprise, although i do indeed feel weird.

I’ve mostly been a don’t know, don’t care person in most aspect, that now i’m having issue about it. In life, there is a numbering position for everything, eg: giving  ratings for things you do. It wouldn’t have bother me so much if i didn’t see the signs of these numbering repeating in the same order i see daily. I don’t want to come in 3rd or last anymore. I did push myself but not to a maximal extent that my water-pipe burst.

It’s hard being out of sync with friends who cares about you because the timing is not right and when there is time you have your tongue knotted that takes a long time to loosen up. Yeah, i’m more of a vis-a-vis person.

Is comforting to know that when all conversation fails or words seem to ceased, the people who knows you will not be affected by it because it happens and they will still be there for you until you are verbally able again. It’s not you got nothing to say, you just can say it out like perfectly normal like, a normal breathing rhythm.

Knowing that your friends are having issues is sad because you want to help them but can’t do much. So you leave them to grow and cope. Knowing that everyone has issues, is fine because it shows that you’re not the only one still internally growing, changes and growth is good.

i think and feel like a green-bean-taugehs, that i use to plant on wet cottons for my science projects in primary school. Have to grow from a seed to a leafy plant.

sit think grow

Posted in: Unsaid