Language Barrier

::… candies i don’t devour… ::

Grieve

When in grief, grieve with the grieving. -VC

Already grieving is so hard, it’s easier to do it together.

The burial was at 10am this morning, later today after Mahgrib there will be a talil for her at the campus surau, Yasin prayers will be said and sholat ghaib will be done.

All seem normal the night before, she text-ed one of her closest friends about settling her visa. The next morning she was hospitalize, she was suppose to get her dialysis but her body couldn’t take it later that day.

Almost dying changes nothing.
Dying changes everything. - House MD

Arriving at the exam hall today everything seem the usual. After that, the hall turned sombre and solemn, her housemates fell apart, one after the other wept silent tears.
Heart-wrenching…
In situations like this handing a kleenex, exchanging condolences and saying prayers are the only all that can be done, but it feels like more needs to be done… but is there anything else?

When words are not enough you give hugs, when hugs are not enough, you give?

The mourning shall pass…

(… for she is in a better place)

 

p/s: this is good read on passing on on ‘How to cope with death’, ::

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilahi Raaji’oon

 

 

Passing of a Friend

Four years…
During Pre-University Padjadjaran until now, today 5 somthing pm

It will be mean if i said i foresee it,
It will be insensitive for me to break hopes,
At the end, i really hope that your passing was an easy one without pain that you have to endure.

Do you know it is hard to for the news to sink in, when it did, it is just overwhelming. How do the dear ones pick up and continue living, when death just came knocking on the next door. All of sudden, the time around you seem to seize though the clock continues ticking, the flood of memories that you have comes in gradually. Trying to sit down and collect yourself and study is hard, the mind keeps floating elsewhere back when life was still breathe into you.

Chronologically passage of time:
Pre-U, the fun trips, the gatherings, the struggles just to get into medic school, the disappointments of not getting into UnPad, the plan-B of sitting for Brawijaya, the entrance exam and the Green Ticket.

The adaptation, staying under a roof with the same Ibu Asuh, the ragging session, learning to sing the PKPMI songs and the miscellaneous Raya songs, enduring the seniors crazy tantrums, bitching about them later,adaptation field trip, the many crazy performances for seniors and PKPMI, my eye patch and your eye infection, learning to kawat with you, Paparons (our first) with you, hadi and faizah; walking insanely from Soehart to practically everywhere!; getting through the rough times during adaptation and OSPEK, the mutual friend we made in matos, the photostickers that is still in my purse, the small talk we had that stays in my head.

The last time i met you was back in July, when we were in UNISMA Hospital visiting the sick ones that had dengue. The last thing you offered us was the Amanda Brownies that you bought. Dear god, that was the last memory i had of her.

You’re quiet, never boisterous but full of life when getting to know you.

It’s so sad that at such a young age you have to go, I wish we knew earlier, i wish you had done a check up 4 years ago.
Anemia can be a hereditary in the family, i hope people won’t take the matter lightly and go for a check up, just to make sure in the long run their health is tip-top. So that it won’t be too sudden to find out 4 years later that you have end stage bilateral kidney damage, and the only option you left with is dialysis or kidney transplant.

Be an organ donor, it saves life.

Last but not least, you still had so much of hope and relentless passion in continuing your studies in Semester 7 with us, even though you knew the prognosis. You were planning to return. And I bet you still remember that both you, me and Yam are suppose to do our hospital attachment

You were planning on returning…

I will miss you Laila Mastura.

:: May Peace be with You and Allah (swt) at you side always ::

the little green boy

I saw a boy

oh so cute

like a little leprechaun dressed in green pants and lime colour shirt

I saw a boy

oh so cute

chubby and robust

I saw a boy

oh so cute

with dirty blond curled locks

I saw a boy

oh so cute!

Full of joy and wonders in his eyes

I saw a boy

oh so cute

he bounces when he walks

I saw a boy

oh so cute

that i wanted to touch

I saw a boy

oh so cute

but it was only for a tad 2 minutes

and he left me googoo-gaga-ing for the rest of the night.

If it wasn’t for the Satpam who was holding the traffic, i would have just stood there and watch that adorable thing until he disappear from my view. If it wasn’t for Akka who was holding me back, i would have gone over and molested the cheeks of that oh so ‘geram-cute’ looking thing!! Niaaaaa!!!!

UberCUTE!!! Too bad i don’t have pics to back up what i saw!

MLIA

Finally! The only thing i like about Ears, Nose and Throat is learning about the NOSE!!
Rhinitis is something i have everyday. I really really really appreciate those days when i don’t get them, and i  really really really feel the contentment of happiness when i am enjoying deep inhalation without any blockage. That particular moment is somehow therapeutic!

I love Derms! Short for Dermatology. Looking at those pictures makes me cringe in disgust! Yet i still like the subject, because it is one of those see, touch, smell sensory that i can use without having to imagine smaller stuff and it’s mechanism in animation!

I’m in a phase where social obligation is nil. I don’t feel like answering to any social calls that is regarding to dress up. I want to dress down or rather just how i want without being overly perk up with accessories or make up. And so, i don’t expect to see myself attending any big social gatherings next month. I’m game for a Beer at the lounge, Coffee for closures, and meal. Not forgetting a few get aways.

My camera battery totally failed on me! So i’ve no time to browse for those rechargeable double A battery.

The health is getting back on track! mweeheehehehe….
p/s: campus life i miss, is one of those better times, where you are able to meet everyone! Lecturers there are nicer too!
Hospital lecturers are either mean, quirky, or both!!!